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Da Night Bafo Christmas

Posted by Harry Pritikin on Tuesday, 24 December 2019, at 2:18 p.m.
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Da Night Bafo Christmas by Auntie Kaiwaakalaninakaole

Was da night bafo' Christmas, and all ova' da place,
Not even da geckos was showin' dea face.

Da stockings was hangin' on top da TV
('Cause no mo' fireplace in Hawai'i)

Da kids stay all crashed, my old man too.
Dey leave all da work fo' you-know-who.

So me, I stay pickin' up alla dea toys,
When - boom! - outside get one really big noise!

I run to da window, I open 'em up,
I stick out my head and I yell, "Eh! Whassup?!"

And den, I no can ba-lieve what I seen!
Was so unreal, you know what I mean?

Dis fat haole guy get his reindeers my yard!
And reindeers not housebroken, ass why really hard!
But nemmind, it Christmas, so I cut 'em some slack.
Plus, get uku pile presents pokin' outta his sack!

So I wait 'till he pau tie up his reindeer,
Den I yell out da window, "Huui! brah, ova hea!"

An' I tell 'em firs ting, when I open da door,
"Eh, Hemo you shoes! You going dirty my floor!"

He take off his boots, he tell, "You know who I am?"
I go, "Ho! From da smell, must be Mr. Toe Jam!"

He make mempachi eyes den he go, "Ho, ho, ho!"
By now, I stay tinking dis guy kinda slow!

He look like my Tutu, but little less weight,
And his beard stay so white, mo' white dan shark bait!

He stay all in red, specially his nose,
And get reindeer spit on top his nice clothes!

But him, he no care; he just smile at me,
And he start fo' put presents unda-neat da tree.

I tell 'em, "Eh, brah, no need make li'dat,
And watch where you step! You going ma-ke Da cat!"

Den, outa his bag, he pull one new computah,
Choke video games, and one motorized scootah!

He try fo' fill up da Christmas socks too,
But had so much pukas, all da stuff wen fall troo.

When he pau, I tell 'em, "Eh Santa, try wait!
I get plenty leftovahs, I go make you one plate!"

But he nevah like hang, he had so much fo' do;
Gotta make all dem small kids' wishes come true.

So I wave 'em goodbye, and I flash 'em da shaka, )
And I tell 'em, "Mele Kalikimaka!"

When he hear dat, he stop...and I telling you true,
He go, "Garans ball-barans! Merry Christmas to you!"

If you are serious about moving to Hawaii you gotta' learn pidgin. Click this link to and order all three Pidgin To Da Max books. They are fun and very informative:

Mele Kalikimaka from you Hawaii Real Estate Professor!!


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